When we embark on new relationships, we bring along hopes, dreams, baggage from previous relationships, fears and insecurities with us. We also bring a truckload of expectations. While some expectations are good, many of them (1) go unexpressed (why can’t you read my mind?) or (2) are completely unrealistic (why can’t you be like my last best friend? I expect you to fulfill and complete all my relational needs). These eventually become a source of intense dissatisfaction and conflict. When we are willing to speak about our expectations then we can negotiate conflicting ones, let go of unrealistic ones, and our relationships get a lot fuller.

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