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The Lost Craft of Hard Conversations

The world feels more polarized and disconnected than ever! People know how to disagree with each other, but we’ve lost the art of maintaining connection that can survive conflict. How do we have hard conversations in a productive way with people we care about? How do we have relationship-building connections with people we’d like to be closer with? In this series, we’ll explore the many complex conflicts that David had, as a soldier, rebel, and king. We’ll see how he navigated them with tact and skill (sometimes), and we’ll gain insights that help us turn our own conflicts into opportunities for growth and connection!

Find the Better “Third Way”

Feb 26, 2023

Too often we let our disagreements get boiled down to a binary: One side is right and the other side is wrong. The stress of conflict makes us rigid and controlling, and extremely difficult to find any sort of win/win outcome. It’s extremely difficult to master “the craft of hard conversations”! Sometimes, is it ok to settle for win/lose?

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Go Slow—to Seek Dignity, not Solutions

Feb 19, 2023

Because disagreement is difficult and painful, our natural tendency is to try to rush for resolution immediately. And the quickest resolution would always be for someone to cave: if other people would just change their mind and agree with us, everything would be fine! Or else, we can quickly dismiss our own needs or convictions in order to keep the peace! Is it possible to slow down enough for both sides to feel heard and valued? How can we avoid rushing to a quick fix that leaves someone getting steamrolled?

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Be the Safer Person

Feb 12, 2023

Relationships are tricky because people can cause us harm. In response to that threat, it’s tempting to withdraw, or lash out, or concede the issue, or try to change the other person for our own benefit. But every one of those choices just creates an adversarial and unsafe relationship for you both. Is there a better way to protect ourselves from others, without avoiding them or controlling them?

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Recognize Your Own Wounds

Feb 5, 2023

People naturally take sides in a conflict based on the externals of the situation. We judge people by their actions or behaviors. And when someone has wronged us, it’s easy to feel blameless in our reaction. After all, they started it! But hidden under the behaviors, our own emotional wounds affect the conflict more than we realize.

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Healthy Conflict is the Only Path to Growth

Jan 29, 2023

Disagreeing with other people is scary. It feels like it costs us peace or connection with others. So we avoid having “crucial conversations,” hoping that it will minimize our pain. Or we lash out in unproductive ways, harming others with our anger. Is there a better way to understand conflict and use it to create better connections with others?

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